Sabian's

since i was going to be late for CSA project meet with asy and ken, i cabbed to school. as usual, i took the front seat so that the driver will most probably talk to me on the way. cab rides are so boring, its great when i get to talk to a someone along the way.

skinny, bespectacled and probably in his late 40's, he looked like a typical friendly chinese taxi driver. he started the conversations. his oldest daughter is currently in TP BUS year 2 HTM. such a small world isnt it? haha..

well, as he spoke about being a student and with projects and stuff, it seems that his daughter is very busy doing projects getting about 2 hours of sleep a day. too myself, i was like quite lucky since i get to sleep more plus i played DotA and slacked during the times i was supposed to be studying and stuff. having 2 ccas is so busy, i should say bye to track anytime soon ):

as the conversation went on, I realised that Singapore is a highly competitive society. With high cost of living and taxes etc, I wondered how am I gonna live when I have to support myself. Will I be rich and successful or poor and a nobody? I guess it all depends on yourself. Looking by the way things are going, Im most likely going to be a beggar ):

i mean look at myself. i did badly for O's. scholars are getting straight A's for 9 subjects. why am i such an exception? with only 6 subs and 3 as with 1 fail. i feel inferior. to them: im like dog like that. quoted from lian sheng. seriously, i am a dog. days and days i have been dreaming of becoming a billonaire. that was what i told my mother but she laughed it off and said i over estimate myself. i felt that shes right now. too right. i feel like an under achiver.

i got of the cab and thanked the driver. i was glad i got in that cab. it made me realise the stupid things im currently doing and have done in my life:-

IVAN! WAKE UP! WTF ARE YOU DOING IN YOUR LIFE?! SPENDING TIME IN DOTA AND ON FACEBOOK GAMES ARE NOT GONNA HELP YOU AT ALL!! SO WHAT IF YOURE DAMN PRO IN DOTA?! SO WHAT IF YOU TRASH EVERYONE IS CRAZY TAXI OR WHATEVER? STOP FOOLING AROUND WITH YOUR F**KIN LIFE AND START WORKING HARD.

before poly started, i promised my parents and myself i would do well in poly and secure a place in the local U. my target for first sem GPA was 3.75. i dont think i can even reach 3.5 now. i have to buck up. damn angry at myself for not giving my best in my studies.

i fucking need a reality check